Hey Silkies! It's that time of year again! As we all bundle up in our chunky blanket scarves, and snap a quick pic of our Starbucks coffee (in the holiday cup no less) we all start to imagine what the next few days have in store. Some of us are already thinking about special treasures buried under the tree. Others think about that dreaded Christmas dinner we have to go to where our grandmother will tell us that it looks like we've gained weight. Others of us can practically hear our mother's voice telling us that it's time to "shit or get off the pot" and marry your live in boyfriend already. While the holidays are filled with cheer and glow, there is also a sense of competitiveness and disappointment that comes along with every family.
Here are some tips to get you through your holiday season unscathed, and coming out the other end your most fabulous self just in time for New Years.
Let's face it. You ate too many cracker and cheese dinners this fall, and you didn't go to the gym as many times as you would have liked (err, well, let's be honest, as many times as you would have hated. Who likes going to the gym anyway??) You are inevitably going to scroll through your IG page and see that mean girl from high school, who always made you feel small, looking FIERCE in a little black dress that you know you could never pull off. STOP. Before you spiral out of control and think about how you hope she's lonely and catches this season's worst flu bug, give her a double tap. DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU ARE BEING A CONDESCENDING MEAN GIRL! Only attempt to rise above and be the bigger person if you can acknowledge that she looks great in that dress. One girl's beauty, kindness, happiness doesn't take away from your own!
Laugh it off!
If your extended family is anything like mine, you probably have a grandma who tells you you are going to hell because you sampled your aunt's very expensive whisky, that she brought to town, while playing a game of cards. (Gasp!) The point is, when these comments are made you can either let them be a serious buzz kill, or you can laugh about it! Which is exactly what my family did as my Grandmother huffed and puffed all the way to her bedroom. (Oh well, more whiskey for us!)
Kill em' with kindness
You know what makes people feel at ease? Kindness! I have found there are two types of people with the exception of a very rare few. Half of us are really insecure and the other half are full of themselves. If you approach an insecure person with a compliment they automatically like you more and feel like they can be themselves around you. Alternatively, if you compliment someone who is full of themselves this also makes them feel at ease, as you are assuring them that you recognize their greatness (eye roll). Once everyone feels a little bit more at ease and their guards are lowered, the tension in any room (even the living room filled with fighting relatives) will be reduced and everyone will feel a whole lot merrier.
Focus on the good
No matter what your financial, familial, or relational situation is, there is always... Good. Sometimes it is harder to see than other times and (I am not going to lie to you Silkie) some of us have it better than others. However, if you focus on the good in your life, that is going to be so much happier for you than if you focus on the negative. Plus, if you believe in the law of attraction, all of that positive energy will attract positive change. With all of this positivity, maybe, just maybe, by next holiday season you will be in an even better place than this year. (Who's with me on making a vision board this holiday season!?)
Money isn't everything
I know it is hard to feel this way when this time of year has such an emphasis on money and gift giving. Just remember Silkie, that you are the greatest gift. Presents and gift giving isn't the most important thing during the holiday season. I guarantee you, at the end of the day, your friends and family would much rather you be happy and healthy than "broke as a joke," trying to afford gifts for them. Do what you can this year and if you can't do anything don't sweat it! Money comes in mountains and valleys. Who cares if this year is a valley? Showing up and gracing everyone with your personality is enough of a gift for everyone (yes, you are just that fabulous).
Happy Holidays Silkies!
Silkies, I truly hope you have a wonderful holiday and a happy New Year. My wish is that this is your best year yet and that you all find our meaning and purpose. Whether you're a - student, nurse, self employed, work in retail, or haven't figured it out yet - just remember that you got this!! No family member can make you feel small if you don't let them. If you are feeling small, tell yourself (over and over again) all the great things you love about yourself. Rest assured you are going to be fine. You are going to be better than fine, you are going to be great. Keep grinding, keep trying. You got this.
Photographer: Nate Gaffney
Model: Jordyn Chen
Boxers: Dee Silkie