Photography:  Stephanie Lane  l Model:  Anna-Lea Mende  l Silk/Stylist:  Dee Silkie

Photography: Stephanie Lane l Model: Anna-Lea Mende l Silk/Stylist: Dee Silkie

While some women play house and plan their fairy tale wedding, decorate their new house/appartment, and nest for new/upcoming babies, others of us are playing "girlboss". So many of us kid ourselves that what we are doing matters and is important. We tell ourselves that we are special, and we tell businesses and clients that we have influence. We ask for/get sent free shit and post about it with the promises that others will buy it too simply because we have X amount of followers on Instagram.

GUESS WHAT there are some real girlbosses, some select few who ARE making a difference, who ARE original, and who DO have influence, but the fact of the matter is, just because you write a blog post about essentially NOTHING and get sent free shit doesn't make you a girlboss. Further more, it doesn't make you original. 

I posted a story on Instagram a couple weeks ago and it got really good engagement! I find the longer your stories are, the less people watch them all the way until the end. This story however was very long and it had a lot of people watching it until the very end. I also had multiple people message me privately to tell me how funny they thought it was. THAT is the kind of content I want to be putting out regularly. Instead however, I am so pressured to keep up with social media and make sure that I make my mark on Instagram that I post random stupid stuff with no substance. ITS SO STUPID!

Not only are a lot of us pushing out content that quite frankly SUCKS, we are also pushing out content that is COVERED in smoke and mirrors. We are all so concerned about looking like we know wtf we are doing that we only post the best, funniest, prettiest stuff.  "Girlbosses" rarely post about how things are REALLY going behind the scenes when things are not perfect. You might follow someone on Instagram for MONTHS and see cute pictures of them being so in love with their significant other when meanwhile their relationship is falling apart. Or think someone is KILLING it because they are active online and getting a lot of exposure when really they have nothing to back it up.

Here is the honest truth. I still haven't paid off my boxers yet. I still work full time hours just to be able to pay our bills, and I still get super envious over the real girlbosses, and the fake ones. I flip flop all the time and stress over the terminology I use and how it will sound. When I refer to Dee Silkie is it "me" or "we"? I stress over being "authentic". Again, I STRESS OVER BEING AUTHENTIC!!! Why, because its a buzzword, and it's what's "in" right now, and everyone is trying to be authentic in their own way. 

The moral of the story is this. For the most part, none of us know what we are doing. Wether we are an Instagram queen, blogger, YouTube-er, small business owner, for the most part we are just trying to figure shit out. I don't think not knowing what we are doing is the problem however, it's the pretending that we do thats the problem and the glamorization of it all! 

The truth is, some days I feel like a real girlboss, and the next day I feel phoney as shit. I think that's normal, and I think that's OK. What's NOT OK is pretending to be a girlboss 24/7 when you lack originality, work ethic, drive and substance. So be original, be honest, and be YOU.